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  • Writer's pictureClarissa Tapia

Awake - A Poem

Updated: Aug 16, 2020

On the road between Tucson and Gila Bend!


Were we ever real?

My heart hammers, my brain swirls

The answer lies in the dried up tears

In the box of memories I never had a chance to outgrow

Yes it was real

Rejoice for it was real!

Soon you will look back and say thank you

Not just for the passion


Not just for the laughs


For rekindling your soul fire

Fear her

She's awake

Is there really anything better than sitting in your own silence and feeling at peace? Lately, I have been feeling a sense of calm that for a very long time felt evasive and honestly, unattainable. When I smile, I feel my heart smile, my eyes smile and even my feet get all tingly wanting nothing more than to bust out a move - no matter where I am! I've memorized most of the lyrics to all of Taylor Swift's new album, Lover, I've learned the dance move's to Daddy Yankee's "Con Calma" video (Thank you Youtube!) and I have about three books I am reading that I can't wait to finish absorbing (I'll share a list below!).

It's fascinating and also humbling to look back on how long it's taken to feel better after heartbreak. I can tell I am no longer grieving the loss of my last relationship - but alas - I am not out of the woods yet (told you I am T Swift obsessed right now) I am healing. I asked my therapist how long we spend in healing because grieving sure felt like an eternity (and in so many ways it was!). Spoiler: There's no timeline -Should have seen that one coming. For now though, I am just happy to feel more authentically me with each passing day.

I want and hope that all couples who share love find ways to stay in love. Through communication, dedication, empathy and authenticity. I hope you can be yourself with your partner and share with them not just the good superficial buttercream frosting of your life, but the actual muffin - sometimes overcooked, burnt or flavorless muffin - because that's where the magic of growth and maturity lies. Pretending those not so sweet parts of your life don't exist doesn't make them go away. Too much frosting will for sure give you cavities. Remember: There is such thing as too much of a good thing.

Time to get real with yourself. You do you - because nobody does you, like you.


Clarissa's Reading List:

A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle

City of Girls - Elizabeth Gilbert

Seat of the Soul - Gary Zukav

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Sep 16, 2019

I love the last two lines of your "Awake" poem. Strong and you.Hugs to you little one!

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